Sunday, April 23, 2017

Setting The Stage: Appreciated VS. Underappreciated

Do you feel underappreciated or undervalued at times?  Is one asking the question, "Why is this?"  A person can be saying to him or herself, I have the talent or ability, and the work ethic that goes with it and it is garnishing little to no attention from anyone. If one is outspoken about being underappreciated, he or she may be labeled as self-absorbed.  So it is a lose-lose battle.  A person may say, "What can I do about getting notice?" One has to set the stage for him or herself in order to get the deserved recognition one has worked hard to get.   One has to have the right approach method and mindset.  I wrote about this in previous posts, Approach Method and Be Approachable.  Personally, I feel like I have been undervalued or underappreciated in my life.  I am trying to go into the science profession, but having a hard time breaking into the industry.  I have the degrees and the work ethic, the first one there and the last one to leave mindset.  Anyways, in order for someone to set the stage for him or herself, a person needs to know what one looks like.  An example is Steph Curry.  He is the most "relatable" person in the NBA.  He looks like the average person.  He is not the fastest, the strongest, or the most athletic in the league.  What makes Steph Curry standout from a lot of people in the NBA who are vastly more talented than he is?  He knows how to present himself.  I believe he is the best point guard in the NBA.  Steph Curry knows who he is and knows where his ability lies, in his shooting.  He showcases his talent and plays in the perfect system that allows him to do so.  When one is playing offensive in NBA, it is flashy, usually fast, in your face, a lot of freedom, creativity, unpredictability, as far as the defensive team does not know when an offensive team is going to shoot, because there can a lot of dribbling, passing, and a lot of varieties.  This all describes to being excitable and can bring about individuality as well, even when being part of a team.  One the flip side of the coin, a person who is in the NBA that I believe is the most underappreciated is Mike Conley Jr.  His team, the Memphis Grizzlies, are a defensive team. I think he is the second best point guard in the NBA, but goes unnoticed because of the system and team he plays for, which is about defensive.  Like the manta goes, "Defense wins championships."  Which is why winning championships are team awards and no individuality is ever derived out of those teams.  Everyone is looked the same way and each and every one has a collective effort in achieving championships. Mike Conley Jr's strength or talent is offensive, but that is limited due to where he plays.  When describing about defensive, it is the exact opposite of what I described about the offensive team.  The pace is slow, because the team is trying to prevent the offensive from scoring and getting stops. There is little variety, getting a steal, the offensive team misses shots and the defensive teams get rebounds, or the offensive team loses the ball out of bound.  Notice how I write about defensive and still mention a lot about offensive.  When I write about offensive, there is barely any mention about defensive.  So all and all, it is about knowing who one is and being able to present oneself and putting one's talent on notice. One must learn and know how to set the stage for him or herself.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

The Power Of Attention

When working on anything such as goals and building relationships with people, it is easy to lose track of what one has and focus on trying to obtain something someone wants or does not have.  One fault some people have is that once someone has attained something, it is easy to be neglectful about the thing after he or she has achieved.  One is not paying any mind to it anymore due to it fulfillment.  He or she no longer sees any use for it, because the growth is completed.  Progression or growth is good but one should stay in tune of the past so history does not repeat itself when conundrums appear in life and be taken for granted. This is why attention is very powerful. One should be cognizant when giving it or not.  Attention represents caring and making something or someone feel special.  For example, some people forget to give attention at times to friends and to check up on them, but if someone was looking to make a friend with someone and that person ignores him or her that someone will spend a lot of attention making that person his or her friend.  Attention should be at the same degree when it is the other way around when someone or something is present in one's life.  A person can potentially lose someone or something he or she already has when one is not expecting it.  Like the saying goes, what is here today can be gone tomorrow.  It is easy for someone to pay attention to something or someone when there is a problem or concern, because it affects that person and he or she wants to fix it.  It is just as important to follow or check up with friends and things in life, because one  b may not know what is really going on, even if someone or something looks fine on the outside. One thing about life and trying to grow from it, is that it is about giving the proper attention to what one already has and staying in tune and incorporating that with future endeavors and applying when the situations arise, whether it is relationships with people or setting goals.  Each and every one or thing is a building block to where one came from and where one is now in his or her life. If any is not giving the same or similar amount of attention, one's growth can be stunted in anything one tries to do.  So all and all, one should be all encompassing, because everything in life happens for a reason.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Images Matter

Images play a big role in shaping the way people think and have a great influence in their lives. Confidence is derived from self-image or how one perceives he or she should look and feel.  For example, with the color red, men are attracted to women the most when they are wearing something red.  Men are visually (Look) stimulated beings; images such as stop signs and red lights from the traffic lights and the actions that follows when seeing them demand people to stop.  This grabs attention or being attention-centric.  Other examples include fire trucks and ambulances when their red sirens go off and people have to pull to the side of the road and take notice. With women, they are emotionally (Feel) stimulated beings.  They are attracted to men who have great postures and show strong body language.  Women will feel and assume that men like that are confident.  That is why it is important not to look sad on the outside for men, because women will feel that these type of men are insecure and having internal battles with themselves and perceive as weak, even when they may not be on the inside. Personally,  I struggle with this.  I feel happy on the inside, but sound and look depress on the outside.  I am a laid back and soft spoken individual.  We as humans communicate nonverbally a lot more than verbally (60-90% vs. 10-30%).  The way someone feels can be displayed on the surface, in general.  The subconscious is stronger than the conscious mind.  So all and all, appearance does matter.  Both men and women's psyches are greatly affected by images.  When it comes to images, men and women are stimulated the same but with different perceptions. For women, it is through feelings.  For men, it is through looks.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Leave No Stone Unturned

When exploring at any endeavors in life, one should leave no stone unturned.  No matter how small and obsolete an option may seem to someone it could potentially lead to bigger and better things in life.  One should never limit him or herself and miss out on any opportunity that presents itself.  One should always remain humble and be thankful for any opportunity and not to have the mentally of anything is beneath him or her.  He or she needs to exhaust all options and never to overlook any of them because one thinks it will be of little impact on the outcomes. I know as a society, we as humans like to generalized and generalizations are usually true but it is not always good to assume that certain situations will lead to certain outcomes.  One needs to let things play out and to explore every options that is given to someone and make the best efforts one can in every situation.  So all and all, leave no stone unturned because one truly never knows what the outcomes are going to be in every situation.  The best thing to do is to exhaust every options that one possess, because one may miss on an opportunity of a lifetime if one does not exercise every option.  One misses out 100% of the time what he or she does not use or take.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Be Approachable

In order to begin with being approachable, one must Have An Approach Method first.  Once someone has a method, he or she will understand that him or her needs to be presentable in a way that he or she knows how to brand him or herself.  As I had written in my last post, the first thing is to make a connection, whether it is with a person or people or a goal(s) in mind.  One needs to make a good impression on someone if he or she is trying to build a relationship or envision potential benefits that can be derived if he or she is setting goal(s).  Both instances need to potentially derive benefits and opportunities from all sides or parties in the matter for a connection to be effective.  If a person is trying to make a good impression in order to build relationship(s) with a person or people, he or she needs to dress professionally and to be able to articulate in a way to market oneself; to come off as one has something to offer and how he or she can benefit another party(ies).  For setting goals, one should have plans on how they are going to execute them and foresee the potential benefits from it all.  There should be tactics on how the plans will play out.  The second portion of the approach method is the association.  Once a connection has been made, one need to try to establish an association and to continuously building upon it.  For building relationship, one should always try to improve oneself in everything and honing on his or her skills and staying on top of oneself by being updated on new information being derived and using it to one's advantage.  For setting goals, one should Have A Healthy Obsession with being persistent and finding any potential challenges or pitfalls that one may foresee and to be able to combat them and always looking for changes to be improved upon.  With being approachable, it is a continuation on working and improving on oneself and staying marketable by being anew and updated in order to become the best version of yourself, which is to stay challenging by setting goals.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Have An Approach Method

The crux of an approach method, whether it is developing a relationship with someone or setting goals is the association vs. connection aspect.  Even though the two are similar, there is a slight different.  Connection is a potential based or focused where two or more entities have no previous interactions before, but may derive benefits from all sides if the approach is done in a proper manner.  This revolves around creating a good first impression and being about to present and to articulate oneself.  The second aspect is association, which is an establish based or focused where two or more entities has a connection and rapport.  This has to be maintained and to be built upon in order for the relationship to continue and be prosperous.  An association is not able to exist without first establishing a connection.  The two go hand in hand.  One must have a plan for an approach to be executed the way he or she wants it go in order to successfully establish relationships with people and accomplish goals.

Have A Healthy Obsession

Whenever one is dealing with a matter,  he or she should try to be involved as much as one can be.  It is good to have a healthy obsession and to be in control of the situation.  I am not talking about having OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) and being worried about every little thing to the point where it distracts someone and throws one off focus.  I mean, staying on top of one's matter, task and keeping up with updates so one does not fall behind and knowing how to handle a situation when the moment arises.  If a problem occurs, one will know how to combat that and knowing how to make the necessary changes or improvements where a situation like that will unlikely occur again when new information is derived.  When working on a goal or doing anything, one should have a healthy obsession, so he or she can stay on top and being in control and avoiding unforeseeable threats.  This will lead one into being successful in about anything one wants to achieve.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Special Edition: Communication Is Essential

Communication is essential in everyday life, especially in regards to building relationships and interacting with people.  There are several forms of communication that we as humans use such as technology, verbal, non verbal.  We as people are social beings.  We like to be informed and to know what is going on, especially if it is going to affect us in any sort of way.  That is why it is important to be an effective communicator, where one can be sought or look as a trustworthy, leader, competent, and other positive attributes.  Communication is extremely important in the professional realm of work businesses as well as relationships between men and women.  If one is not able to articulate oneself on an interview for a job, he or she will most likely be passed over despite being very qualified on paper.  That is how important communication is in the workforce, because it is one of the most determining factors if a project is going to succeed or fail, along with the relationships of people that someone works with.  As far as relationships between men and women, the way the two sexes communicate is one of biggest difference they have amongst each other.  For women, they are stimulated by words/emotions and men have to be careful when speaking to them, because women can be offended by what men say, even if men did not mean for something to be taken a certain way.  There are words that have double meanings.  For example, the word 'pique' has a meaning of to stimulate out of curiosity and can be also be define as the feeling of annoyance or frustration.  When it comes to communication from men, they are blunt, terse, and a lot more direct and to the point when conversing or being more objective than subjective.  There is little to no emotions when expressing themselves, whereas women are a lot more detailed and express emotions when speaking or being more subjective than objective.   It is important for us as humans to have a blend of being subjective and objective.  I believe men and women need each other and do not care what feminism or any feminist say such as Gloria Steinem, Irina Dunn that  'A woman need a man like a fish needs a bicycle.'  Both sexes need each other like a fish needs water.  Men and women can teach one another on what each other lacks.  For men, they lack expressing themselves when conversing with women.   Women may feel men do not have much of opinions and may come off as idiots to women.  For women, they lack rationale, logic and reason to the extent of men.  Women may feel the need to express their feelings to men even when it comes to the smallest of things which are benign and cannot go without saying anything.  Women do not know when enough is enough.  I feel like they do not posses that depth to let things go that are benign, because they feel those things may worsen or become problems if left ignored; this comes off as querulous to men.  They may be unable to recognize when some things are small and not to sweat the small stuff.  I believe that men and women should teach each other on one another strengths, because that will bridge the gap between the two sexes as far as communication goes.  Communication is crucial and can build stronger and healthier relationships between people when done effectively.

Train The Brain Happy Easter Sunday

There is a "Use it or lose it" principle when it comes to training the brain.  One becomes in sync with whatever he or she chooses to train for, because the brain is hardwired as such.  There is a process called pruning in the brain system where things that are really useless to someone and they get wiped away.   That is why it is important to keep oneself occupy or active, because if not, one's brain will become as such.  If one starts setting goals and being active, the brain will become hardwired and one will become quicker and more efficient at doing such activity.  If one wants to become a couch potato, one's brain will be hardwired and it will become difficult to break out of that state of mind.  So please, keep being active and finding new ways to become a better version of oneself.
Here is a link to the full story:  Click here

Friday, April 14, 2017

Refine, Retune, Reinforce Good Friday!!!!

When working on oneself and trying to become a greater you, one must refine, retune, and reinforce him or herself when setting and accomplishing goals.   When one is refining him or herself, one needs to remove all the impurities or negativity one has about him or herself.   The next step is to retune or adjust after refining oneself by creating goals that helps to improve oneself into becoming the best person one can be.  Then, one must reinforce or strengthen him or herself by building onto the new version of oneself.  When one gets done with a goal to help him or her to become a greater and newer version from the old self, he or she needs to continue to make goals and accomplish them in order to reach greatness and his or her potential.  It is continuously battle with oneself to help and improve and to grow as an individual.  It is easy to get complacent when one reaches a little success, but as I mentioned in a previous post, do not let good get in the way of being great.  Here is a link to that post, Be Great Not Good.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Staying Updated Is Standing On Top

In whatever one is trying to do with his or her life, one should always put his or her best foot forward and always be at his or her best.  One way of doing such a thing is to keep oneself's updated with whatever is going to be helpful to reaching him or her goals in life.  This can be the resources such as information, education, clothing,etc to help stand out from most people in life.  Another being proactive, especially when one has reached a goal in life, one should continuously start making new ones as one is about to be completed.   It is key to look to improve oneself and working to build at one's current state and avoid being idle.  When one is content and not being productive, he or she will feel like he or she is falling behind in time.  If he or she is trying to improve and be updated, that person will create opportunities for him or herself, because he or she is putting oneself in a position to get where he or she desires to go.  That person is asserting him or herself by taking control of his or her situation and being initiative and determined to improve his or her chances to achieving his or her goals.  The best way to do so is to stay anew or fresh and keep updating oneself and being on top of putting the best version of oneself upfront and standing out.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

How To Become Assertive: Invest In Self First

In order for someone to become assertive, one needs to invest in him or herself first.  Before one can truly make someone else happy or invest into someone or something, he or she needs to make oneself happy first.   People want to be liked by everybody and want his or her approval or validation, but one needs to truly seek out his or her own desires and wants and to affirm self-validation, which I wrote in a previous post, Self-Validation.  No one knows one better than oneself and looking for validation from others is not going to make one happy, because one is unsure about him or herself without investing.  Until one knows oneself by investing into him or herself with time, money, emotions, experiencing life on his or her own and has self-validation, then one can take into consideration of sanctions from other people's validations.  One has to search for his or her own pursuit of happiness or self and to look from within and to start setting goals for oneself to reach wherever he or she is trying to go in life.  One must always try to look to improve and to get better at being a better version of him or herself and that is by being proactive and setting goals, which will create opportunities for that person to achieve whatever he or she is trying to accomplish.   As one is going through the journey for pursuit of greatness/happiness/bliss of oneself, he or she will face adversities and challenges and learn more about him or herself in which he or she will be investing the time, money, effort/emotions and will reach success. Even if he or she does not reach success the first time at whatever he or she is trying to accomplish, that person will continuously to try and try until success is reach.  As a result, he or she will develop characteristics such as drive, tenacity, self-reliance, self-worth, high morals, etc.  That person will exude these characteristics and they will be ingrained into his or her personality and others will take notice.  All in all, in order to be assertive, it has to start with you, because you matter.  Being assertive in life can lead to immense possibilities and reaching your greatest potential in one's life.

Be Assertive Over Passive

Being assertive over passive is important when doing anything in life, especially with developing and building relationships with oneself and others. Someone who is assertive possess the characteristics that everyone should want such as leadership, motivated, self-assured, driven, etc.  He or she is aiming high in life by setting goals and trying to reach his or her potential and also willing to live with the consequences.  As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, Risks Are Good, and are the catalysts in reaching someone's goals or potentials in life.  He or she may hit big or fall hard, but that person is not afraid to fail and to try again and again.  Like the saying goes, "Everyone loves a fighter."  This person will stand out from a lot of people.  On the other side of the coin, someone being passive is not seen as a negative thing, but he or she will be unable to reach his or her potential due to be afraid of taking risks and failing.  One will be consistent and not be able to grow on a personal and professional level.  That person is not going through challenges or trying to avoid them and playing it safe.  With the assertive person being inconsistent, but he or she is growing because he or she is taking those risks and facing those challenges to strive to be the best person that he or she can be.  As I written many of times on my blog, life is about experiencing.  The best way is to be assertive and pursuing whatever one is trying to achieve and making the mistakes that will come along the way and learning from them in the pursuit of reaching happiness.

Gather Than Rather

When doing anything in life, one should gather the information and any other resources before planning to do so than rather do something without any information and resources.  One should be in control of his or her situations in life and to take an active/proactive role rather than hoping for breaks or having someone else doing it for that person and being passive.  A little bit of work has not killed anyone before.  Work is good.  Work makes someone into an honest person.  One should always put him or herself in the best possible position in anything he or she is trying to do or strive to accomplish.  Having a passive(rather) mindset is not the way to go, because one is powerless.  He or she is depending upon hope and prayers and looking for easy ways out, which in then creates doubt.  This leads to nowhere positive.  One should have a active(gather) mindset, because one is in power and controlling his or her situation and putting in the necessary work for things to be created.  Like the old saying goes, "What is faith without works?"  One can create anything he or she believes in as long as it is realistic and attainable by doing the work.

Thursday, April 6, 2017


In life, people are seeking out what they want out of life and what to do with it.  Some may go look for guidance from people who have been big influencers in their lives or who they have a great deal of trust. What most people often forget to do is to look at themselves and want they truly want.  What they want may not match or be similar to what the people who matter the most to them.  Those people have to remember that only them are in control of their lives and happiness.  One does not have to receive validation from others in order to achieve happiness.  What one believes in and stand for is all the validation that he or she needs.  It is up to that individual to go after it through hard work, persistent, and determination.  One of the people I admire is Shannon Sharpe from Fox Sports One.  He said, "In order to be great you sometimes have to be selfish."  So in order to be great and be truly happy, one needs to have self-realization and to know who one is inside and to go after whatever belief he or she stands.  Do not worry about what other people say.  It is okay to consider what they say, but ultimately it is your decision to make and whose happiness is at stake.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Seek And Ye Shall Find

Everyone in life has his or her own journey to seek after in order to find whatever his or her purpose on earth is.  Life is about experiencing and one needs to go to seek information or the truth on his or her own to find whatever he or she is looking.  No one can seek it for you, but it is fine to ask others to help one to move closer to finding or achieving his or her goal or destination. There are plenty of resources out there and people willing to help someone to accomplish whatever he or she is trying to obtain.  Throughout life, people have been seeking and acquiring knowledge through observation, reading, and experiencing.  The answers are out there, but one must be empirical to reach them.  Life is about discovering and learning about oneself and others and achieving.  If one really wants to achieve or find anything, he or she must seek it for him or herself; no one's journey or experience is the same.  Seek and ye shall find.

Lessons In Life Are Meant To Be Blessings

Like the old saying goes, "Everything happens for a reason." Whether one knows it or not, lessons we as people learn in life are meant to be blessings.  One may not understand why do certain things happen to me and usually during critical time of his or her life.  When things like this occurs, do not ask why, but learn from those lessons and mature to become a better version of oneself as one is continuously learning throughout in life.  Challenges and adversities arise when one is not really expecting them to happen.  Everything can be good one moment, and then go in a downward spiral the next.  This can cause someone to refocus if he or she has been caught in moment or moments and gone complacent.  Whether something happens, bad or good, take something from it and continue to grow or build from it.  Lessons should be seen as blessings, even if one see it as a negative.  Well, he or she needs to turn that negativity into something positive, because lessons will continue throughout our lifetime.

Worrying Is Wasting Time

One of the biggest things that someone should avoid doing in life is to worry.  It does nothing but sucks the life and energy out of someone and drains the time away.  Worrying will not change anyone's situation, but will keep someone from being productive and making useful of his or her time.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, time is one of the most precious thing one can have in life.  One should make the most out of it, because time moves fast and will leave someone behind.  Worrying is just like fear, there is nothing to it.  Only one allows those type of emotions into his or her psyche.  One has to go out and live life without worry and fear; that is the only way one will feel free.  Strive out to be the best that one can be and on the pursue of happiness.  The only who is stopping oneself is the exact same person he or she sees in the mirror.  So stop worrying and be comfortable in one's own skin and make the most out of one's time.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Don't Fear Change

Ever hear of the phrase, "Nothing to fear but fear itself."  Fear is an emotion that someone allows into his or her psyche.  Everyone posses the abilities to do whatever he or she wants to achieve in life.  I wrote about this in two of my previous posts, Your Abilities=Your Utilities and Psyche Over Matter.  Do not let fear stop anyone from anything.  I know we as people at times like to be in their comfort zones, because they are safe and convenient and we can be stuck in our ways and are not always susceptible to change. If one has lived for quite some time, he or she knows that change is inevitable.  That person knows that he or she has to be adaptable to change in order to continue to succeed in life.   Change should not be looked as a negative thing.  It helps us to grow and to have different perspectives and experiences that we would not look at it if change was nonexistent.   Life is about experiencing and changes are the essences, but they benefit us by helping to become a better version of ourselves.  Do not fear change, embrace it.  

Think Big

When it comes to setting goals and tasks to achieve something, one should try to think big.  Even though he is a controversial figure and the POTUS, Donald Trump is right when he said, "As long as you are going to be thinking anyway, think big."  One should strive to become great and not good, which I wrote about in one of my previous posts, Be Great Not Good .  Try to use one's capabilities to the fullest.  It does not have to be on every goal one goes out to set for him or herself.  But when one is setting goals, he or she needs to try to make the goal a little more difficult than the previous one in order to gradually reach greatness and full potential, which also causes growth.  Setting goals with the same level of difficulty to accomplish is all as well for a few of them, but one should not do that for every one.  As one's goals start to become more harder as one does more and more of them, the more challenges and difficult they become, which will cause someone to become stronger and greater than he or she old self.  No matter how one's feel about some goals are too big to accomplish, one should strive to achieve them anyways.  No one should try to limit him or herself.  This is a detriment to one's growth and confidence.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

3 Ways To Create Opportunities

There are ways for one to create opportunities for him or herself.   This involves a little research and observation in order for opportunities to arise.  Whatever one is trying to become or do with his or her life needs to take a proactive role in how to make something happen.  For example, with research, this can mean browsing the internet or reading books and finding stories on how people got to where their at now and that is the position that person wants to be.   If someone is looking for a profession to go into, there is LinkedIn, networking events if join communities online, etc.  Another way to create opportunities is something basic that anyone can do which is to be observant.  Wherever one goes, whether it is walking, driving, riding a bicycle or in a car with friends or family, be very aware of the surroundings.  Those are where the biggest opportunities come from, but a lot people can have the tendencies of missing out on them if not conscious at all.  There can flyers on bulletin boards at grocery stores, telephone poles, business offices, etc.  One should walk into any situation with an opened mind, even if one thinks it is not beneficial to him or her initially.  A third way to create opportunities for him or herself is to develop an elevator speech.  One will never know who he or she will run into, so it is best to have one made, because this will be to his or her advantage and can highly positioned oneself into opportunity he or she does not see coming.  So all and all, no matter how little control of the situation one thinks he or she has, opportunities can be created if he or she takes an active role.

A link on how to create an elevator speech:  Elevator Speech