How To Become Assertive: Invest In Self First

In order for someone to become assertive, one needs to invest in him or herself first.  Before one can truly make someone else happy or invest into someone or something, he or she needs to make oneself happy first.   People want to be liked by everybody and want his or her approval or validation, but one needs to truly seek out his or her own desires and wants and to affirm self-validation, which I wrote in a previous post, Self-Validation.  No one knows one better than oneself and looking for validation from others is not going to make one happy, because one is unsure about him or herself without investing.  Until one knows oneself by investing into him or herself with time, money, emotions, experiencing life on his or her own and has self-validation, then one can take into consideration of sanctions from other people's validations.  One has to search for his or her own pursuit of happiness or self and to look from within and to start setting goals for oneself to reach wherever he or she is trying to go in life.  One must always try to look to improve and to get better at being a better version of him or herself and that is by being proactive and setting goals, which will create opportunities for that person to achieve whatever he or she is trying to accomplish.   As one is going through the journey for pursuit of greatness/happiness/bliss of oneself, he or she will face adversities and challenges and learn more about him or herself in which he or she will be investing the time, money, effort/emotions and will reach success. Even if he or she does not reach success the first time at whatever he or she is trying to accomplish, that person will continuously to try and try until success is reach.  As a result, he or she will develop characteristics such as drive, tenacity, self-reliance, self-worth, high morals, etc.  That person will exude these characteristics and they will be ingrained into his or her personality and others will take notice.  All in all, in order to be assertive, it has to start with you, because you matter.  Being assertive in life can lead to immense possibilities and reaching your greatest potential in one's life.

Be Assertive Over Passive

Being assertive over passive is important when doing anything in life, especially with developing and building relationships with oneself and others. Someone who is assertive possess the characteristics that everyone should want such as leadership, motivated, self-assured, driven, etc.  He or she is aiming high in life by setting goals and trying to reach his or her potential and also willing to live with the consequences.  As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, Risks Are Good, and are the catalysts in reaching someone's goals or potentials in life.  He or she may hit big or fall hard, but that person is not afraid to fail and to try again and again.  Like the saying goes, "Everyone loves a fighter."  This person will stand out from a lot of people.  On the other side of the coin, someone being passive is not seen as a negative thing, but he or she will be unable to reach his or her potential due to be afraid of taking risks and failing.  One will be consistent and not be able to grow on a personal and professional level.  That person is not going through challenges or trying to avoid them and playing it safe.  With the assertive person being inconsistent, but he or she is growing because he or she is taking those risks and facing those challenges to strive to be the best person that he or she can be.  As I written many of times on my blog, life is about experiencing.  The best way is to be assertive and pursuing whatever one is trying to achieve and making the mistakes that will come along the way and learning from them in the pursuit of reaching happiness.

Self-Validation

In life, people are seeking out what they want out of life and what to do with it.  Some may go look for guidance from people who have been big influencers in their lives or who they have a great deal of trust. What most people often forget to do is to look at themselves and want they truly want.  What they want may not match or be similar to what the people who matter the most to them.  Those people have to remember that only them are in control of their lives and happiness.  One does not have to receive validation from others in order to achieve happiness.  What one believes in and stand for is all the validation that he or she needs.  It is up to that individual to go after it through hard work, persistent, and determination.  One of the people I admire is Shannon Sharpe from Fox Sports One.  He said, "In order to be great you sometimes have to be selfish."  So in order to be great and be truly happy, one needs to have self-realization and to know who one is inside and to go after whatever belief he or she stands.  Do not worry about what other people say.  It is okay to consider what they say, but ultimately it is your decision to make and whose happiness is at stake.

High Tolerance Is Low Standards

When it comes to setting goals or anything anyone is trying to do for that matter, settling or developing a tolerance for an outcome that is compromised than the one one originally had in mind is low standards.  One should not settle for results, because that is like taking the easy way out.  That person is not doing him or herself any favors by choosing to settle.  When someone continues to settle for things in life, then he or she will build up a tolerance that is detrimental to one's growth.  One will not learn anything from whatever he or she is wanting to accomplish, because that person avoids the challenges that is ahead and decide to settle.  When choosing to settle, one is content with having low standards, because that person is compromising his or her outcomes in which he or she cannot become a better version of him or herself.  So all and all, avoid settling and set deadlines for each milestone one is striving to achieve in order to establish standards.  If one does not have any standards, then he or she will accept just about anything, which prevents someone from reaching happiness and end up regretting the choices he or she makes for settling.

Be Goal-Oriented

One's happiness needs to be first and foremost and must be upheld.   In order for it not to be compromised, one must set goals for him or herself.  It is good to have both short term and long term goals.  This will help someone avoid being in a complacent state, which then leads to a stunt into someone's growth as a person.  Life is always changing and everyone should try to look and to improve his or her current state.  It is easy to be in a content state when one is already happy with his or her life.  Yes, reaching happiness is an ultimate goal for many, but that can change over time as one is getting older and experiencing through life as it progresses.  This is why it is essential for one to set goals for him or herself.  Just because one is happy today does not mean it will carry over to next year, in five years, or even ten years.  Setting goals does not have to be something extremely hard, but it does need to be something that challenges oneself.  As long as it is realistic and attainable.  It can be something simple like going to the gym and working out for 20 minutes, 3-4 times a week for a month, then one can increase the load as time moves forward.  As one starts to see results, he or she will have a boost of self-esteem, self-worth, and confidence.  This all leads to happiness.  So all and all, set goals to sustain happiness, because it can change day to day, weekly, monthly, yearly, etc.