How To Become Assertive: Invest In Self First

In order for someone to become assertive, one needs to invest in him or herself first.  Before one can truly make someone else happy or invest into someone or something, he or she needs to make oneself happy first.   People want to be liked by everybody and want his or her approval or validation, but one needs to truly seek out his or her own desires and wants and to affirm self-validation, which I wrote in a previous post, Self-Validation.  No one knows one better than oneself and looking for validation from others is not going to make one happy, because one is unsure about him or herself without investing.  Until one knows oneself by investing into him or herself with time, money, emotions, experiencing life on his or her own and has self-validation, then one can take into consideration of sanctions from other people's validations.  One has to search for his or her own pursuit of happiness or self and to look from within and to start setting goals for oneself to reach wherever he or she is trying to go in life.  One must always try to look to improve and to get better at being a better version of him or herself and that is by being proactive and setting goals, which will create opportunities for that person to achieve whatever he or she is trying to accomplish.   As one is going through the journey for pursuit of greatness/happiness/bliss of oneself, he or she will face adversities and challenges and learn more about him or herself in which he or she will be investing the time, money, effort/emotions and will reach success. Even if he or she does not reach success the first time at whatever he or she is trying to accomplish, that person will continuously to try and try until success is reach.  As a result, he or she will develop characteristics such as drive, tenacity, self-reliance, self-worth, high morals, etc.  That person will exude these characteristics and they will be ingrained into his or her personality and others will take notice.  All in all, in order to be assertive, it has to start with you, because you matter.  Being assertive in life can lead to immense possibilities and reaching your greatest potential in one's life.

Do This When Stuck In A Rut

Every now and then a person is going to find him or herself stuck in a rut in life where he or she does not know what to do and starting to lose all hope.  One thing a person does not want to do is panic or quit at whatever is troubling him or her.  If someone is struck, it is okay for him or her to take breaks when one has reached an impasse.  Do not take too many breaks, because it can lead to be complacent.  Breaks can be something like listening to music.  For me, when I feel like I am mentally and physically worn out from working on a job, project, or goal, I listen to something that are uplifting and inspirational.  Such music includes, "Going Up Yonder," by Walter Hawkins, "The Best In Me," by Marvin Sapp, and "I Won't Complain," by Reverend Paul Jones.  Another option is to walk around outside in the fresh air to clear one's mind from whatever is causing him or her havoc.  This can lead to finding something one can incorporate into his or her work or a solution or solutions to his or her problem or problems.  A third solution is reading books that makes one happy or use critical thinking skills. A professor once told me that when things are out of order or puzzles us, we humans tend to find ways to bring order back.  It is in our nature to do so.  There are many other solutions to find when stuck in a rut.  Everyone knows him or herself well enough to know what makes him or her happy.  One should find something that suits him or her the best until homeostasis is established so he or she can get back on track to obtain whatever is needed to be achieved.

Be A Better You

One of the most important aspects for growth in an individual is to become a better you.  Even if you are currently happy with yourself and you are yourself's best friend.  It is vital to love oneself, but one needs to challenge him or herself and set goals for him or her in order to have growth.  Because if you get content and become complacent, then you won't reach any of your untapped potential.  This will cripple and disable you from any sort of personal or professional growth, which is important to reach any sort of success in whatever one is seeking.  In my personal life, I have become my own worst enemy.  I had a lot of academic success through grade school and post secondary education, but did not try to better myself.  I would go to school, do my work, and come home.  I did very little interaction with people while I was there.  I was a reserved individual.  I did not like to speak in general, but some people looked at it that I disliked them.  Like the old adage, "It is me and not you."  That was a truism that hinder me both personally and professionally.  As of now, I have two degrees, but have a hard of finding a position in my field due to a lack of effective communication skills. Communication is a big aspect in every type of professional business. I am an articulate person in the thought process, but when it comes to verbalizing it, that is a different story.  As I have learnt the hard way, thinking and speaking are two different processes.  Both require a lot of work, which involves a ton of practice.  One can read on how to do those things, but in order for it to effectively work, they must be put into practice, which involves interacting with people.  As I mentioned earlier, I am a reserved/introvert person, which meant I had a comfort zone and did not want to come out of it because of fear.  Being in a comfort zone is safe and dangerous at the same time.  It is safe due to the fact you do not have to face your fear in the short term, but dangerous since it limits your growth.  Eventually, one is going to have to come to grip with his or her fear in order to get to where he or she is trying to go in life.  Life is about experiencing and facing challenges and to become a better you as a result of those obstacles.  Embrace challenge, it is okay.  It is okay to fail as long as you continue to strive until you reach success.  You will live and learn.  Failing happens only when someone gives up and stop trying to reach his or her goal or goals.  Don't give up, don't ever give up.